Taco Bell's Cantina Bell Menu is Terrible

What a surprise. Actual burrito looks nothing like this.

I thought I’d never have to blog about Taco Bell ever again. Not after I declared them dead to me for what they did to the 1980’s Taco Bell.

But now Taco Bell has launched their new Cantina Bell menu, which was created by Chef Lorena Garcia. That’s okay, I’ve never heard of her either. But lots of people on the internet have and they have been giving the new Cantina Bell menu rave reviews. And not just people on Yelp who will like everything. These are people who actually get paid to eat food and tell you what they think of it. The new menu has been compared to Chipotle. It’s Taco Bell’s entry into the fast-casual they say. Westword.com says "Taco Bell's Cantina Bell Menu May Make Chipotle a Little Nervous." The OC Register says that the “Taco Bell Cantina Bell Menu Beats Chipotle.”


this is just weird


actual burrito

So I ordered the chicken burrito, which came to $4.79. A bit expensive for Taco Bell I thought and I yearned for the days when three bucks would get me 4 hard shell tacos and a cinnamon crispas.

I’m not sure what to say about this burrito other than it’s terrible. Ok, I will say a few things. There’s hardly any chicken, which at first is a disappointment until you taste the chicken and then realize that it’s pre-cooked, fake pressed meat, and flavorless. There’s some kind of green sauce that is gross, there’s fucking lettuce, there are dry flavorless black beans, and there is white rice. The only thing this burrito has in common with Chipotle is the white rice. What’s so special about white rice? Apparently serving a burrito with white rice makes you fast casual now.

It’s probably the worst burrito I’ve ever had.

Give it up Taco Bell. Do us all a favor and dig up those 1980’s recipes and start giving us what we really want.