If you’re under 30 you probably don’t remember how good Taco Bell tacos once were. You’re probably thinking I’m having a laugh or that I’ve finally gone mad but it's true.Now make no mistake, these weren’t the kind of tacos you’ll find on the streets of Boyle Heights or El Sereno. But they were traditional tacos in their own way; crunchy ground beef tacos that were greasy and delicious.
I don’t remember the exact date when the Taco Bell taco began to degrade in quality but it was some time around the beginning of the 1990’s. Like most young people during this time I used to eat at Taco Bell religiously and when the poor quality taco came to be me and my pals recognized it instantly. Everything changed about the taco right down to the type of pre-made taco shell used. The Pre-90’s tacos were packed with fresh finely grated cheese. Post-90? A few strands of thick cheese that taste like they were grated during the Reagan Administration. Pre-90’s Taco Bell ground beef was cooked at the restaurant. Post-90’s “beef”? Outsourced to Mars I think. It’s funky, mushy, and just gross. The only thing that hasn’t changed at Taco Bell is the hot sauce. The only difference is with post-90’s tacos you need about 6 of them per taco to prevent the gag-reflex.
Which brings us to Taco Bell’s latest disaster, the doritos loco taco. It’s a post-90’s taco(gross beef, a few strands of cheese) with a doritos flavored taco shell. The commercial says one guy drove 965 miles to get one; I drove two. I really only have two words to say to Taco Bell about this taco and I think I’ve been waiting since 1990 to say them. Fuck you.